Passing the Time

So what have I been doing with my time now that I'm no longer checking my Facebook/twitter/email/blog fifty times a day? Although, if I'm being perfectly honest, I must admit that I did keep an eye on my blog stats after that last post to see if writing about not caring about page views happened to increase my page views and, just as I had expected, it did. Thus proving a theory I have about blogging and negative gratification... Which is a whole other post, one I've had drafted for years but have been too worried about my (lack of) social standing to post. Until now, of course (insert dramatic music, indicating foreshadowing of some sort).

But I digress. So what have I been doing? Well let me tell you...

I've been reading. Not a page here or a page there but chapters upon chapters. Books upon books. Plural. As in 'two'. Whatever, it's progress.

I've been taking a lot of long, relaxing baths. The type where the water is so hot it burns (just for a little while) and you exist in the state of limbo between falling asleep and worrying about the risk of drowning. It's been nice to take the time to unwind in a sea of bubbles. And, no, I don't just say this because I still don't have a shower... not because I'm lacking the tools or know-how (both of which are true) but, rather, because I'm too nervous to install it, sure the ceiling will fall down, the walls will cave in or the floor will buckle. In fact, if I didn't have my cousin staying with me while she goes to school I would honestly wrap the shower kit up, put a bow on it and give it to the home's next owners as a house warming gift. After all, if baths were good enough for my ancestors they're good enough for me! Never mind the fact they lived in grass huts and wore corsets, we're total twinsies!

I've been going for walks and generally hanging out with said cousin. And because of this maybe, just maybe, she'll still talk to me in 10 years because we'll have things to talk about instead of her remembering me as the girl she lived with who played on her laptop and watched TV all the time. Instead, I'll just be the girl she lived with who played on her laptop and watched TV some of the time.

On that note, I've been trying to spend more time here, in the chair I promised myself I would use "all the time" but have rarely sat in because my butt has been firmly planted on top of my couch... and beneath my laptop.

I went for not one but two massages! At an actual remedial massage therapy center. A real 'it hurts so bad you bruise' massage. It was glorious. And I feel much better, despite the fact the masseur told me I was the worst case she's ever seen. When I do something... I like to go all out.

I did yard work! And by 'yard work' I mean I put my patio set in the garage so it doesn't get ruined by the snow like it did last year (oops). If you knew how much I hate (despise, loathe and dread) yard work you'd know... this is a huge deal. I might even sweep/rake up all the leaves for the trick-or-treaters. Progress!

I've attempted to eat better. And by 'better' I mean I bought flavored pretzels, thin chocolate bars and 100 calorie snack packs of cookies and fudge bars... and then proceeded to taste test them all on the way home from the store. I'm awesome like that.

I cleaned my car! And by 'cleaned my car' I mean I washed and vacuumed, then took the seat covers off to wash them only to realize they would probably fall apart in the washing machine, wherein I left them in a pile on the laundry room floor. Like I said, I'm pretty much awesome.

I've sorted through the photos from my trip. All 3475 of them (I don't know what's wrong with me. Actually, I do: I blame my poor memory for my incessant need to capture every little moment, lest I forget). In my defense, I've deleted more than half of them. Now I just have to do something with the ones that remain. Guess what I've done with the photos from my last big trip, the one I took 3 years ago? Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. Because, you've guess it... I'm Awesome.

The long and short of it is I've had more time to 'think' (always a dangerous thing) and 'do'. I wouldn't say I've been overly pensive or productive but I'm trying. I know I have things to figure out and stuff I want to do... all of which I've been putting off because I've been 'too busy' when, really... what the heck have I been doing this entire time?!? Oh ya, I've been here. Vying for everyone's attention.

Don't get me wrong, I don't regret my time online at. all. It's been an outlet for me when I've been sad and lonely. When I've shed tears, people have listened. When I thought I had something overly witty to say people have humored me. And when I thought I was alone, you taught me that was never the case. I've met some really amazing people who have become really amazing friends, some of whom I've adopted as my family. It's helped me grow and change in the best possible ways and I've often lamented that I'd be perfectly capable (and content) to live inside of my computer. In the past few years, I've gained more friends and opportunities online than off of it and I've loved (and still love) each and every one. I just can't help but think that it's time to find my place in this world. Of course I'm not so naive as to think being on my computer less will lead me to discover where it is I belong, I just figure it can't hurt.

Who knows, I just may find that it's exactly where I am now.