Simmer Down Now

The weather outside is frightful! Baby, it's cold outside! No really, it is. I spent twenty minutes de-icing my car after work today. Given the fact the weather stripping on my car door ripped off as I opened the door, you can imagine how much I enjoyed the whole experience.

It's gross. It's icy and snowy and it hurts when you're outside and Mother Nature pelts you in the face. So when I finally did get home I decided it wasn't a snow day... it was a soup day.


With the exception of French Onion (which, let's face it, is just a conduit for cheese) and Bean with Bacon soup (because, hello... bacon!) I'm not much of a soup person. My mom made lots of soup growing up (tomato and macaroni, beef barley, chicken noodle, minestrone, barfed... I mean borscht) so I've had my fill. And when I eat out I always opt for fries or salad (but mostly fries) instead of soup as my side dish and I never, ever, pay money for soup.

Ever.


Except once. At a fancy-schmancy bachelorette party at the type of restaurant where french fries are clearly out of the question (they wouldn't have gone well with the wine anyway) and the only type of salad available is one made of weeds and flowers. And so the soup of the day it was. And what a soup, indeed! Moroccan Tomato and Peanut soup. So delicious that I googled it as soon as I got home. A few batches later and I think I have it down to a science. Especially since I forgot the 'add water' step for the first few batches. Needless to say, it was a little thick.

Kind of like me.


It's a great soup. I make mine a tad on the spicy side (kind of like me!) and with less peanut butter (I have nothing funny to say about that). It freezes wonderfully and makes a great, filling lunch. The type of lunch that makes you feel like all warm and fuzzy inside, like you're at home instead of the company cafeteria. Like I said, I'm not a soup kind of girl but this soup? Isn't like soup at all... it's like a bowl full of awesome.

That's right, awesome.

Don't believe me? Try for yourself. Don't mind the pencil markings (I figured out the Weight Watchers points, for the old system) or the food stains... it's a recipe that's been well used and well loved.

Enjoy!

Until Next Year...

My lips are the color of bright pink hot pants and my face, arms and jeans are covered in body glitter. Such is life when you get a makeover at a 4 year old's birthday party on Boxing Day (Canada's version of Black Friday, retail-wise).

Tomorrow I attend Christmas gathering five. Five! So overwhelmed am I by this Christmas season that I've been getting up early (relatively speaking, of course) just so I can move to the couch and nap in the glow of the Christmas tree, enjoying every possible moment before it's time to put it all away.

I wish I had taken time off work. To prolong the inevitable. To putz around the house, doing nothing more than catching up with friends between cheesy movies on the W channel and naps in front of the fire. But, alas, it's almost all over. Tonight is the last night I don't have to set an alarm and tomorrow is the last of the Christmas gatherings. I'm down to the last of the candles for my German pyramid... A Christmas trinket I've wanted for years and stumbled upon in a local flower shop. With no price tag, I played the game of "I won't pay more than..." in my mind, knowing I had paid $80 for one as a gift to my mother almost two decades ago and having seen similar ones online not that long ago for $300.

And so, with trepidation, I asked the store manager how much it was... only to be told he'd give it to me for $45. And so it came to be, this new Christmas tradition. The heat from the candles causing the blades to turn, making the characters on each level
go round and round. It's a shame to put it away. It all seems to have gone by so quickly.

It ended too soon.

Christmas Past

I haven't always been a fan of Christmas. In fact, there was a time when it was my most dreaded day of the year, the only highlights being a few hours spent at an afternoon matinee or going out, post family dinner, with an old high school friend in town for the holidays to sing karaoke at the the only bar in town open Christmas night. Catching up on the year past in the smokey, dingy type of establishment that rents rooms by the hour, surrounded by people who were, like us, trying to escape or, sadly, had nowhere else to go. People from different walks of life, sitting together in silent comradery without judgement or trouble, calling a truce on social standings, or lack thereof, and sharing the same space and moments in silent understanding.

The bar has since been torn down, the friend is no more and there never seems to be any good movies playing this time of year. Things change. And so has my Christmas. No longer is it filled with awkward silence and palpable tension, having being guilted into going only to be told my presence ruined the day. No more is it a tug-of-war battle between my conscious and my heart- telling myself it was the right thing to do, all the while feeling resented and unloved, wondering if the material value of the gifts was worth a day spent being so conflicted and confused. Painfully longing for something better.

Now my Christmas is mine and mine alone. To spend as I see fit. With family I was given not by blood but by fate, luck and love. The family I have in my friends, near and far. Not just for a day but the entire season. All the Christmas cards... the secret Santa gifts... the traveling from one home to another, knowing that I'm wanted and loved in not just one home but many. So much cheer has come my way this month that my cousin, who's staying with me while she completes an internship in the city, has started calling me "Hollywood". She thinks I'm famous... I tell her I'm just incredibly, amazingly lucky. To have met the people I have, both online and off. It never ceases to amaze me that people give me a second thought, let alone a third or fourth. I think of my friends and I am so overwhelmed and amazed. It seems impossible that I could give to any of you (yes, you!) even a little bit of what you all give to me.

Now, at Christmas, I spend the day thinking "I don't deserve this" instead of "I deserve better".

And now, the day I hated so much? Is one of my favorite days of the year.

And, so, on this day, so very different from Christmases past, I wish you a Merry Christmas. May your heart be as full and overflowing as my own... and may you feel as loved as I do tonight. If not by the people you'd most expect than in the most unexpected of ways. Because while one type of love may seem your given right the true joy comes from the kind you will spend your entire life in awe and gratitude of. The kind that makes you want to be a better person because you may not know how you got it but you sure as heck want to do everything you can to earn it. And this holiday season?! Makes me want to do everything I can to earn it because, hot damn, am I lucky.

Christmas is so much better when it truly is Merry!

Time for a Tune-Up

What else have I been doing? Well... after years of owning a piano I finally got it tuned (funny how it still sound bad when I play it) and managed to find a pretty kick-ass piano teacher. I start lessons on Tuesday and have been practicing what I do know so I don't look completely inept at my first lesson.

Just mildly.

And I baked a cake. The cake part sucked (a baker I am not) but the decorating? I sure do like that part. Fondant is like playDoh for adults. The cake was to celebrate the arrival of twins so I opted to go with the cliché 'two peas in a pod' theme. And, yes, I copied a couple cake designs off Pinterest. Which is the best thing since sliced bread.

Seriously.

In the end the cake was a huge hit (again... more so the decorating than the cake itself. Not gonna lie, it was kind of gross inside) and although I kind of wish I had used more of a pastel color scheme (when it comes to both icing and paint I have this theory that if it's all the same price I may as well go all-out. If you saw my house you'd understand) and had made a taller, narrower cake (for effect) I'm pretty impressed with how it turned out. So much so that I had to stop myself from naming the babies.

(Charlie and Sam)

Patience is a virtue For Losers

On the topic of "where the hell have I been" I finally managed to sort through all of my trip photos and put them in an album. Writing and all. A feat I still haven't completed since my last big trip, three and a half years ago (oops). I probably still wouldn't have it finished if it weren't for the Christmas deadline and the fact I had a coupon code for 25% off. And I'm cheap.

But that last one's beside the point.

The point is I finished it! Despite wanting to delete the damn thing after spending 17 hours on it in a 24 hour period... and regardless of the fact I accidentally chose a 12x12" format when my other books are 11x13". *sigh* Yes, the important thing to remember is it's finished. I submitted it last week. And then proceeded to log into their website, at bare minimum (and, sadly, this is not an exaggeration), 8 times a day to see if the status had changed from 'in production' to 'shipped'. It's been a long 7 days.

So today I gave up the dream of it arriving before Christmas. I told myself that I didn't have to check it because, surely, they'd have an automated system that sends an email notification, complete with tracking number, the moment the status changed. I'm in IT after all, I know how these things work.

So I didn't check it all day. Except for that one time this morning. And another time on my lunch break.

But just now? One last time? Just to make sure it hadn't changed... I checked it.

AND IT'S SHIPPED!!!!

I can't wait to see it. All 358 pages of it (don't judge... a lot of the photos are a full page). And the two hours spent photoshopping the cover?!? Totally worth it!

What Are You Trying to Say?!?

I think a person's phone says a lot about them. Or so I thought... until I caught a glimpse of the keyboard shortcuts I've created for myself. Because if a person's phone does say a lot about them my phone is trying to tell me that I am one (or two) of the following:

a) An 11 year old girl
b) An embarassment to the English language
or...
c) Eminem

Glad Tidings

Today was a long-ass day. Got up at 4:30am to do an implementation at work. Had a full, busy day. One of those days where I felt pulled in a million different directions. And while it was hectic and stressful (almost) every task was enjoyable. It feels like I'm coming into my own at work and I really enjoy the new things I'm learning. Like search engines. Because search engines are fun, am I right?!?

Regardless, it was a long, tiring day. I came home wiped and exhausted. But I came home to a wonderful surprise. For the second year in a row I have a secret santa!! It never crossed my mind that I might be so lucky and loved two years in a row.

I lie: it did cross my mind. But I pushed it aside, deeming it too selfish to hope for... And too good to be true.

And yet so it is. That on a day like today I come home to find myself instantly refreshed. Content. Happy. Grateful and humbled.

So very humbled.

Thank you, secret Santa. I'm glad you're a secret. You could be anyone. But I'm so very glad you're you.

And I'm so very grateful you're back.

Xoox